Category Archives: Paying It Forward
I am so excited to have received another award. I never in a million years thought I would have gotten the first one, much less a second or third. Thank you so much Aisha for thinking of me and brightening my day. I love it!!! WordPress bloggers are awesome! Well, some of you aren’t WordPress….you’re awesome to!! 🙂
If you haven’t visited Aisha’s Scrapyard yet, she is a great poet and story-teller that puts you in the moment. She also holds awesome contests. I am waiting on the next one already. 🙂
The rules for this award are:
1. Thank the fellow blogger who nominated you.
2. List five blogs that has affected your writing in a positive manner, by virtue of comments, posts, inspirations etc.
3. Leave comments on those blogs letting them know of the nominations
4. Post the award in your blog.
5. Bask in the love of fellow bloggers and spread joy and inculcate good karma.
Wow, there are so many who have impacted me in many different ways. Five is definitely not enough. Some have stolen my heart the minute I met them, and that is very unusual for me.
I think writer’s all share one huge soul or brain wave or something up there :), and it is easier for us to connect. If I had to choose Facebook or WordPress…well you see where I spend my time. I have enjoyed meeting every one of you and now cannot imagine life without your funny ways, your challenging posts, and your past you openly share.
Some of you have made me laugh out loud when I forgot I had someone asleep beside me. Some of you have made me cry and walk around with a lump in my throat for hours. Some of you had me questioning things I have never thought about before and I enjoyed every minute of them all. Thank you everyone I know on here, for all your wisdom and your love.
Ready? Hold on to your hearts, they stole mine!
Congratulations! You all deserve it.
I started my first day of the year, pondering who needs help and how. So many came to mind, but one stuck. Our courageous soldiers, who have been home for a while and the ones just arriving.
Some soldiers adjust fairly well at home and there are those who do not. They struggle daily to hold it together.
It doesn’t matter when they step off the battlefield, there are many moments when they can still smell, still hear, still see the horrific events they try so hard to forget. They want to remember the names and ranks of their comrades, the special moments they shared, the bravery, the good they fought for, the ones they saved, the things they learned, the beautiful landscapes, the new discoveries. They beg to forget things we never knew they experienced.
We assume they will arrive home and function as they used to, in the comfort and security of family. We assume they remember how to sleep at night with both eyes closed. We assume they remember how to walk through a crowded store without scanning the entire crowd. We assume they are comfortable viewing and listening to the firework show on holidays. How about when they shower and hear the children bouncing around in the next room? What about the random plane flying over their home or the neighbor’s dog barking in the middle of the night or the cat hair that stands on end, the phone ringing or the knock at the door? We will never truly know how many times a day, they are put on edge, at alert, after returning home.
This can be frustrating and should be addressed to lessen the effects over time. I feel it is our responsibility to show our soldiers and their families and friends how to comfort and relax when this happens. All veterans experience the ability to still feel, when the moment no longer exists.
How Do You Comfort Yourself Or Your Soldier At Home When The Moment Strikes?
What do you do to snap out of it or how do you help your soldier snap out of it, in the heat of the moment?
How do you calm yourself or your soldier during a flashback?
How did you transition from the battlefield to the security of home?
Please tell the next soldier…
Tags: Comfort, death, facts of veterans, Flashbacks, Healing, home, Iraq, Military, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Service, Soldier, United States, Veteran, veteran issues, Veterans Day, War, World War II
Last night, you claimed Jon Bon Jovi died and you made it similar in fashion to Michael Jackson’s death. Why would you cause pain on their families and friends? Have you not lost a loved one or experienced the pain and trauma it brings? Have you experienced the shock or had years of sleepless nights or the nightmares after loosing a parent, spouse, or child?
Next time you consider playing a joke on someone, please put yourself in their shoes first. Ask yourself, who will you hurt. Please spend your time finding someone who needs help and focus on being a light for them. We all have the responsibility to make our world a better place. There are hurting people all around you. If you are the one hurting, you can discover that helping others will ease your pain.
Fortunately, Bon Jovi took it with a grain of salt and laughed it off. This shows his true character. What is your character? How do you contribute to society? Do you help others or do you hurt them? You have a chance to change how you relate to people, every morning when you wake up.
It could be your child running in the door one day, screaming and crying after hearing of your death. Is that how you want your loved ones to feel? What if the rumor is a hoax, how would you handle your child who is crying frantically and not able to be calmed by your presence? How would you feel? Would you want your child to start living with the fear of loosing you? Think about how Jon Bon Jovi’s family now feels. Although he laughed it off, did they?
Becoming a widow can make you feel as if you are going insane and it can make you feel as if you are the only sane person you know.
The emotions we face can be unbearable, they can make us weak and they can make us strong. It is frustrating to feel a hundred different emotions and then again feel a completely new emotion years later. People think we aren’t healing fast enough, they think we should already be operating again as we once were. This can frustrate us even more. We go to bed with plans of tackling certain things the next day and we wake up feeling great. Then out of nowhere something someone says or does takes us completely off track and the thought of picking up our to-do list seems unbearable. We start feeling heavy and spend our day trying to shake it off. It is bedtime and another day was wasted. We try again. We never stop trying and never stop believing that one day the heaviness will be gone. Our minds are motivated and want desperately to clean the house or start that project we need to finish but our bodies just won’t let us. We function and we accomplish things, just in smaller steps than what we are used to.
Other than the fact of not having our loved one here with us, not being our usual superwoman self is the hardest part to deal with. Some mornings, we can barely drag ourselves out of bed just to get the children off to school. The children can barely get out of bed. We do what must be done and are completely worn out just trying to get dressed but we never give up. We fight everyday to regain our strength, our energy, our memory, our old selves. We constantly wonder if we will grow old like this. We have our good days and we feel like a new person when they suddenly appear. We pray the bad days never come back and they always come back. We wake up wondering why we feel so bad. It is a roller coaster that you just want to stop. You cannot bear the thought of reliving it again. Have you ever wondered how lost love can drain you of so much? Ending a relationship hurts and causes pain, but you can still function. Becoming a widow stops you in your tracks. It cements your feet in time.
The anger, the confusion, the short-term memory loss, the shock, the crying, the questions, the wondering, the forgetfulness, the emptiness, the pain, the aches, the heartache, the sleepless years, the empty stomach, the clenching of the jaw and teeth, the numbness, the depression, anxiety, uncontrolled crying, memories, pictures, their clothes, their toothbrush sitting dry, the not focusing, the racing heartbeat, the longing, the begging, the grasping for anything to do with them. It may all seem like nothing to people who have never lost a husband, wife, or child, but to us, it is our way of life, our every breath we take, our every step. We no longer take the small stuff for granted and the big things seem irrelevant most days.
I would never wish this pain on my worst enemy and I pray for God to spare others the mind-numbing and heart breaking emotions we feel all in one day. It makes me angry that someone would cause this pain on another human being but yet I pray for my husband’s killer. I forgive but I do not forget. I still want justice and I will always search for it.
I keep running into people who are not hurting a little, I run into people who are broken beyond repair. It is as if God is putting people in my path to help. My friends are now referring to them as my angels. They are people who are lost and I have walked in their shoes, as an adult and as a child. I can relate to them and God is using me to help them. I know when they see us healing, they see it is possible. I have a message to all of you hurting and lost. Find someone who is hurting. Show them how far you have come. We will never be one hundred percent healed. When we go to our death-bed, we will still have sorrows and regrets. Every day that you wake up, you ARE healing. You may not feel it but you are and you have to trust that you are. You will not wake up one day healed. Healing is a journey, it is learning to cope, learning to find ways to comfort yourself and others. This is healing. Healing is knowing that you are even if you do not feel it all the time. We have our good days and our bad days.
I was shocked to find so many people suffering from losing a loved one. Everywhere I turn, I am finding people from all walks of life that are begging for someone to talk to and receive reassurance that they are experiencing normal symptoms. I always recovered from losing a loved one and never knew this pain existed. Sure, I dealt with issues of losing my father and other loved ones but I could still function. It wasn’t until I lost my husband that I learned the seriousness of it. We will never reach all the widows or parents or children throughout the world who are silently suffering. With that being sad, we need to search for them and show them they are not alone. You know yourself, when surrounded by many loved ones, you can feel completely alone. Children who were abandoned and are now orphans feel the pain we feel. Can you imagine a child feeling this pain? They are everywhere, in every city. It even makes you slow down long enough to realize the emotions animals feel. They feel afraid, happiness, loneliness, and I cannot even stomach thinking of the ones who are tortured. You suddenly realize how many of us feel real pain.
Please pay it forward and find others to comfort. Ease their suffering just by showing them they are not alone. When you show them how you are healing, you will also be healing yourself. It puts experience under your belt and it puts your focus on others instead of your pain. It gives you something to look forward to. If you are unsure of where to start, ask God to start putting people in your path to help and then start taking notice. It may be a little boy standing by a coke machine, or the stranger sitting next to you, or someone you have emailed for a while and never knew their story. You will know when to speak. Listen to your gut and follow your instincts. If you ask, He will deliver, you just have to be watching and listening. You will be shocked at how many are silently suffering and can live a better life just because you were in their path. You will be their light in their worst darkness just by listening and sharing your story.
You can send them or enter them (and yourself) on an online prayer request at http://TheLifeAtHome.webs.com for other viewers to pray for. A place to tell your story was just added this week and so many will be lifted from hearing our stories.
May God Bless You on your journey of rediscovering who you are and who you were. Keep their memories alive and talk about them. Honor them and share their life with us. Always hold onto the fact that they love you and are waiting on you on the other side. Until then, please be a light to others who are living with the hundred emotions we feel on a daily basis and do not know how to process it all. I hope to hear back from you and all the good things you are doing to improve your life and the life of others.
One of my favorite quotes:
You never know how strong you are
until strength is all you have left.
I found another great source of inspiration today and I want to share it with you. Natalie Francisco is helping women worldwide overcome the challenges we face in life. She has a lot of inspirational messages on her site as well as a class she offers. I love the Pearl of Wisdom she features at the bottom of her site. If you are interested in rebuilding your character and overcoming whatever it is in life you are facing, visit Natalie at http://www.nataliefrancisco.com/wowwi/ for messages that will no doubt remind you of your values and goals, and reinforce the message of believing. She teaches you to avoid the negativity that life sometimes brings.
I was shocked today to see how many underage drinkers are bragging online about staying wasted. I was horrified! One fifteen year old girl was bragging about staying drunk and she just had a friend die from alcohol poisoning. Another friend of hers almost died and had to have her stomach pumped. Where is the fun in that? Why would anyone want to follow in those shoes? Some were bragging of drinking in the mornings and driving to work drunk or going to play in their football games drunk. Talk about an easy way to leave on a stretcher. They were drunk while they were online and already talking about getting drunk tomorrow. They are puking and falling down and still want to drive in an hour. Read the rest of this entry →
No matter what you are going through, you will be okay. Sometimes life seems very unfair to some of us and we may never understand why. We may never have our answers but we have to keep faith. I was recently touched by an individual that made my problems seem so small. I have always said, when our problems seem big, there is always someone, somewhere, worse off. I believe in praying for people who hurt me and I try to do good. I am saved and I realize, I will never be perfect, but sometimes life throws a punch so big, we have a hard time getting back up.
I could not sleep one night and was channel surfing, when I heard a message that glued my eyes to the television. He had me laughing and crying at the same time. He knows all our pains. His name was Nick Vujicic. He is a preacher with no arms or legs, no limbs. He had the biggest smile and was such a beautiful person. My heart ached for him and rejoiced at the same time. He was born without arms and legs and begged God his whole life, for the miracle of arms and legs. He said he finally understood what God meant when He impressed on him, “No Nick, I am not delivering your miracle…YOU… are the miracle!” Read the rest of this entry →
Posted in Animal Issues, Career Issues, Dealing With Death, Elderly Issues, Health Issues, Honesty Issues, Parenting Issues, Paying It Forward, Relationship Issues, School Issues, Substance Abuse, Surviving A Transplant, Teen Issues, The Corporate Life, Uncategorized, Victim Abuse
Have you considered giving your child up for adoption or to foster care?
Have you given up on your child?
Have you walked away from them when they needed you?
If you have, or are considering giving up on your child,or know someone who has, then, this story is for you.
Tags: abandon, adoption, boy, child, children, counseling, death, family, father, foster care, girl, grand child, homeless, lost, love, mother, orphan, parenting, relationship, run away, scared, stress, teenager
Have you been hurt by someone or something that hurt you so deep you feel you will never recover from it? Have you had someone instantly taken or ripped from your life to never see them again? Have you been abused mentally or physically? Have you ever lost all of your possessions and had to start over? Have you lost a child or a parent before you felt it was time? Have you ever been homeless? Have you ever been raped, molested, robbed, or attacked? Have you survived a natural disaster? Have you ever been kidnapped? What is your pain?
My heart aches for you who are hurting or have been hurt in the past and cannot seem to move past it. I have been through so much in my life and I know there are many of you who are suffering right now. My trials and traumatic experiences are real and I personally know what it feels like to suffer and feel alone. You are not alone! When I look back at everything I have been through, it amazes me that I’m not in a mental institute or living under a bridge. There were times I wanted to give up, but I decided to take it one day at a time and I knew that I was worthy of a good life, a happy life. I am only 38 years old and I am a widow with three children. The path to my here and now has been very long, very excruciating and very confusing. I learned to mask my pain and hide my embarrassment very well. So well, that only my closest friends know “only a part” of what I have been through. I found it useless to reach out for help because family and friends expect you to recover in a certain amount of time, regardless if you could or could not. No one truly knew how to help me because they either haven’t been through it themselves or they were hurting also and did not know how to heal from their own pain. I always thought…how could they help me?
I am pulling it up by the bootstraps and I pray that my experiences will help you rise up from your pain, to start your new, happy life. This is your chance to finally realize, you are able to let go of the pain and when you smile again, to really mean it. This is your chance to help others, who are hurting and lost, to find encouragement and strength. I will be sharing the horrific events of my life with you and welcome your comments for us to discuss and share. Be sure and check back for information. By sharing your pain, others will realize they are not alone. You may choose to remain confidential or you can own the pain and finally release it for good. However you choose to participate is completely up to you. My goal is for you to begin pulling it up by the bootstraps and create the diamond within you. Read the rest of this entry →
Posted in Dealing With Death, Elderly Issues, Honesty Issues, Parenting Issues, Paying It Forward, Relationship Issues, School Issues, Substance Abuse, Surviving A Transplant, Teen Issues, Uncategorized, Victim Abuse
Tags: abuse, alone, boy, child, children, death, family, father, forgive, foster, girl, hurt, hurting, lost, love, mother, pain, rape, relationship, run away, scared, teenager, tornado, transplant, victim
I am a widowed mother of three children, ages 12 to 20. The events in my life started as a young child. Everyone tells me that my Daddy loved me liked no other. He wanted a little girl more than anything and said he would send a little boy back. Daddy died a few days after I turned seven years old, from a car crash with a log truck. The log came through the windshield and hit him in the head. The log went out the trunk and slung his car, a hundred to two hundred yards, off the road, into a Burger King drive through. His brain had major swelling and he was in and out of a coma for a week, before he finally died. His last words were, “Where is Christy?” I get a lump every time I think of this. I have so many questions… I also have regrets. I constantly think, if Daddy was alive… I could stop by his house. I could cook him dinner. I could call him for help with my vehicle, or home, or kids. I could learn so much from him. He worked for a Publishing Company and his hobby at home was rebuilding hot rods and motorcycles and painting them. I have missed out on so much in life because I do not have my Daddy. My children have missed out on so much. My son looks just like him.
There is so much pain and sadness. It hurts that I no longer have him in my life, but it also hurts that it affected my Mom. The love she felt for him is still undeniable, thirty-two years later. His boots sat by the back door, just as if he was home and took them off himself. She no longer listens to rock and roll. She still cries at the thought of him. I never could understand why she could not handle certain things, such as watching old home movies. They comforted me. Why would they not comfort her?
I, now, know exactly why! My husband was murdered, at our home, and I lost a part of myself. I could no longer watch his favorite shows. I could not drink coffee, because he made me coffee every morning. I could not listen to the radio. I could not go to the grocery store because he loved to cook. I could not sleep or eat. I could not visit anyone. I could not go anywhere. I was frozen in time. I was lost and my world was spinning. Read the rest of this entry →