Why Do Bullies Bully?

…It is not easy watching our children sulk or cry after school. It is not easy watching their self-esteem slip. It is not easy watching our child become mean as a result of being bullied. We need to teach our children when they are bullied, it has absolutely nothing to do with them, none whatsoever. This is the first and most important aspect of it all. The children being bullied need to know this to keep their sanity and their self-esteem in check.

The second thing they need to know can help serve as a two-fold and create compassion in your child. Bullies are usually having a hard time with something, whether they realize it or not…
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About Christine Smith-Johnson

I am a widowed mother of three children, ages 11 to 19. I hope to encourage you through my trials and traumatic experiences. All my life, I dealt with heartache, and kept my head held high. Recently, I dealt with a heartache so big, it consumed me. Every part of me was lost and hurting. I never thought I would make it through. I did and I want to help you make it through your heartache, no matter how big or small it may seem to you.

Posted on December 22, 2011, in Parenting Issues, School Issues, Teen Issues, Victim Abuse and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 23 Comments.

  1. I have been browsing online more than 2 hours today, yet I never found
    any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.

  2. Real-Life Housewife

    Hello,
    I’m honored to present to you the ABC Award, please visit:

    http://countyroad233.wordpress.com/2012/02/16/abc-award/

    Congrats.

  3. Some people really have low self-esteem and feel that beating up someone else or intimidating another increases their worth. It’s a thwarted belief or understanding and must not be left to spread. It in turn makes the victims either chicken away or toughen up to respond in the same thwarted manner. Really sad!

  4. A growing concern for all parents today, going both ways too! My daughter, having had to deal with an abusive father, has gone to the side of defender rather than bully, thank God! Kids have always had a tendency to be mean to each other but it is a more prevalent issue these days, sad to say. I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the ABC Award, if you choose to accept go to my post: http://terri0729.wordpress.com/2012/02/08/abc-award-thank-you/ and congratulations! smiles and blessings, Terri

  5. What a wonderful blog! I learned of you from the page of Thypolar, in recognition of the award you nominated her for. So glad she stopped by mine. Finding some really good reading tonight! Keep writing! I will be back!

  6. i personally think people bully because they are insecure about themselves…If someone tries to bully me, i pity them because i know they only say the bad things or beat up everyone because they feel bad about themselves.. really great post.. :-)

  7. Reblogged this on Rana Armoush and commented:
    Have you been bullied before? or have you been a bully yourself once upon a time? I bet the word “Bully”means something to you in either cases: Please read this post from our fellow blogger Christine and help spread awareness of such a serious and delicate issue.

  8. Great post, and very true! I have been bullied through my elementary education and it took me a lot of years to realize it wasn’t my fault, and that came in high school when I started realizing that kids who bully have low self esteem and feel the urge to make up for it through hurting others. Awareness must be spread about this issue because its very serious! Thank you for bringing up this subject Christine! I’m re-blogging it!

    • Thank you Rana! Yes, for some it can be serious. My heart was broken recently by a young girl, who recently posted over a 100 tweets on Twitter about being bullied and abused, just minutes before she took her own life. It is a sad, sad thing. She stated in one of her tweets that not one single person she encountered said or gave her one good reason to stay. It makes my stomach turn just thinking about it. I wish I would have known before she took her life, unfortunately I did not know until hours later about her at all.

      I am glad you finally understood it had nothing to do with you and I am so sorry you experienced this. At least now, you have lived it and can reach out to other victims. I think a lot of adults blow it off as not serious, and then you hear about teenagers who take their own lives because of it. That’s serious to me and, thank God, to people like you. Thank you for your kind words and for spreading the issue. Talk to you later.

  9. amazing insightful post on a very sensitive issue. being bullied is very painful, and as you said, a lot of bullies are going through a bad phase themselves but their targets are too young to understand that and forgive them, adults had to interfere and motivate the bullies to change their ways. what do you think?

    • Hi Sharmishtha! Thank you for visiting and offering your thoughts. I completely agree! Sadly, some parents are oblivious to the fact that their children are bullying others and they defend them, sometimes even blaming the victims. The bullies truly need guidance and to be taught how to deal and cope. Some parents are unaware all together, as it is never brought to their attention. There can be so many reasons it goes unstopped and that is where we come in, showing our children, how to help themselves when we are unavailable. Great advice! Thank you :)

  10. As one who had experienced first hand in life, I can tell you, its the hardest thing growing up

    • It is hard growing up. Sometimes a negative word can stick with us longer than a kind word, especially if it reminded us of a self-inflicting thought we already had about ourselves. Throw in the mix, moving around to different schools, divorce, or death, and it only increases the anxiety.

      I think more children have a tough time than we are aware of. This is what led to the article of Underage Drinking. My daughter and her friend keep me informed of today’s peer pressure on students and when online one night, searching a medical website, I found teenagers online needing help. This was only one site and it was COVERED in comments from teenagers in trouble. I could only imagine how many more sites and offline conversations, we would never know of. My heart was broken!

      Thank you so much for reading. I hope you were able to take something away from it, that will help other children, who need to know they can end bullying aimed toward themselves or their friends.

      Have a great week Arun. I loved your story for the Picture Worth Your Words Contest. It actually was my favorite of all, even over mine. :) I will not be shocked if you are declared the winner! The detail was amazing.

  11. Hi

    I have nominated you for the Versatile Blog award. I hope you like it. You certainly deserve it.

    http://lostupabove.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/versatile-blogger-award-7-x-7-link-award/

    • Hi Steph. What a wonderful way to start the new year. Thank you for the Versatile Blogger Award! I love it! You are very kind to think of me.

      Congratulations on your awards! Number 6 on your secret list is way to cute. Thank you for sharing.

  12. Thank you for your help in spreading this information!

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